Lobow's SPARK
Lobow's SPARK
Serenity Amidst the Holiday Hustle
Ever feel like the holiday season brings more stress than cheer? We've all been there, navigating the high seas of festive expectations and family obligations. But it doesn't have to be that way. Pull up a chair and join us, alongside our charismatic guests, we swap stories and strategies for keeping the yuletide anxiety at bay. From redefining what the holidays mean to us, to the tactical retreat from society's demands, this episode is a treasure chest of personal anecdotes and heartfelt advice that could transform your seasonal woes into winter wonder.
It's a holly, jolly puzzle figuring out how to fit Christmas traditions into our hectic lives, but who says we can't write our own rules? We're unwrapping the evolution of holiday customs, discussing everything from the practicality of gift exchanges to the delightful oddity of celebrating Christmas in a summer climate. Technology gets a nod for gifting us with easier ways to prepare for the festivities, especially for those among us facing health challenges. So, kick back with a glass of eggnog and let's share a laugh—this episode is an invitation to a festive feast with a side of gratitude, reflection, and connection.
Lobow’s SPARK is proudly supported by Leo Guinan, Kirk Hofstrom, Casey Elliot, Sarah Delano, Justin Allingham, Blushing Crafter, Jamie Young, and Beth Jones. It is also supported by 10 anonymous supporters. Whether you want to be mentioned by name or remain anonymous, this podcast does not exist without you. Thank you so much for your support.
Lobow’s SPARK has started a fundraising effort for Crisis Text Line. We have a goal of $19 per episode as $19 supports one person in their time of absolute crisis with their mental health. If you would like to donate through our fundraiser in titled “Lauren’s Infinity”, the link is listed below.
https://www.classy.org/fundraiser/3638033
The background music during the recognition parts of this episode, was written by Guy Farmer. Look him up on Itunes!!
MERCHANDISE NOW AVAILABLE! This is a work in progress but tell me what you want, and I will make it happen! https://lobowspark.myshopify.com
holiday stress. It sucks, waba. How do you deal with it?
Speaker 2:I have a bad answer for this. Okay, my answer is I don't engage in situations that will cause me holiday stress. Okay, because I refuse to allow other people to to affect my emotions to such a large degree nowadays. Good for you. I really just can't be bothered with with all that. That's so much work, man, if I want to do like holiday stuff, I will do it because I want to do it, or you know I want, or someone else wants it, you know. And when I say someone else, I mean like my partners, because like when I was back at home, holiday stress was just kind of like I don't know my parents fighting pretty much, or like it would be like going to like the. We had like a family get together for a few years in a row and that would just be loud and annoying and bright and honestly I feel like a waste of my time. So I'd usually seclude myself, exclude myself, seclude myself in a corner and play Game Boy or something.
Speaker 1:That's extremely smart to just remove yourself from that stress. Is there anything about the holidays you like?
Speaker 2:Um, I don't know, I think it's any other day, I think it's a capitalistic holiday. It's an excuse to like give people presents and it's a good excuse to get together. But I feel like you could make more effort throughout the year to get together with those same people and it would feel so much more powerful. Yeah, exactly, and it would feel so much more powerful and just so much more impactful if you actually made effort outside the holidays, honestly. But I don't know. I mean, the only thing I guess I like about the holidays is that there are some like pretty sights. Now that I've like acclimated to the area and stuff and I've acclimated to like kind of like preparing myself to go into a situation that has like a lot of blaring lights and noise, it can be like a fun time. I suppose I don't personally super enjoy it, but it sure looks visually stunning, I suppose. I guess Some people would say I love this.
Speaker 1:You just ignore the stressful part of it. Like that's, I don't want to be stressed, so hard to be stressed. The stressful part Like.
Speaker 2:I ignore the stressful part, because the all the parts that are stressful are people putting weird social obligations on other people, and I don't fuck with that anymore. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't mess with that, I don't, I don't allow other people to dictate what I need to do societally or feel guilty about or whatever.
Speaker 1:I got you Makes sense. Well, anything to add to that, because you fit literally just eat pasta.
Speaker 3:I mean, I did get for me. It's just like when I, whenever I've done Christmas, oh my god, I can't keep a finger.
Speaker 2:Okay, by the way, this is all going to be okay. The whole day stress gets to us all. We can't keep it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, clearly, the only stress I have is Atlanta Airport and even though this is low bow podcast, this is staying in, so fuck you Atlanta. Also, I don't do Christmas. I don't really like I for so many years, unless I'm with someone, I don't do Christmas Same, but that's the reason I'm in the US at the moment is because low bow invited me, but otherwise I'd be at home eating pasta watching some random films. It's pasta.
Speaker 3:It's pasta, gotta fucking but it's like I just want I don't care, like it's not, it's, it's. It's such a nonsense holiday that was stolen from another group during the Roman era. Anyway, like okay, if we're going to do this, let's go back to mythgrass and suck an alia and do it properly Like. If you want to pretend that it's a real holiday, let's do it properly Like I don't.
Speaker 3:Holiday stress. It's stressful because we are forced to be stressed by others, because whenever. Because the problem is is that so many others get presents from other people. Well then, then you have to get a present. You don't, but you do so. This for some people, genuinely, you don't, but for a lot of people your parents, your, your friends, whoever if they get your present you could, because that becomes a stress. If somebody gets your present, you're like yeah, I've got to get you something. That, because it feels wrong not to. If you genuinely like, if that's a person you connect with, I give it to somebody you don't care about, they do your present, fuck them, they've got a free gift, but if you actually care about them, you're going to get a present. That's the problem. Okay, that's. That's what causes so much stress. These way of doing it is to just disconnect, which is what I tend to do a lot of the time during during Christmas.
Speaker 3:Okay, I will give you back to low now. So we have to disconnect from basically me and Robert, miserable bastard.
Speaker 2:This is a bro bastard. I just don't allow other people to stress me out like that.
Speaker 3:I'm not saying this will bother me. I don't say miserable bastard in in a derogatory way, but I think it's good.
Speaker 2:I know it's not derogatory. You're allowed to be a miserable bastard. I'm a. I'm a happy bastard.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, this is so much fun. So, leo, holiday, stress what you got, buddy.
Speaker 5:Ah, yes, man.
Speaker 5:So I definitely agree that the stress always comes packaged in the expectations of others, both real and imagined, right like I think.
Speaker 5:Like many other aspects of life, it comes down to Pist poor communication, because we just rely on things like tradition to communicate various Aspects of our lives and then it ends up with people going through the motions without actually thinking about why they're doing it, but then they get upset if you don't go through the motions, which is always interesting but, yeah, smart, you know, I think I like the potential to just Remove myself from it. Unfortunately, that's not quite possible in my situation and there there are a lot of like family expectations. I Tend to deal with it by just like, fine, I'll participate, but I'm gonna do things my own way and I'm not going to really worry about, like, conforming to all of your like Things that I don't really care about. But I will like shop and make an appearance and I'll talk to people and you know, like I, I make it as positive an experience as possible and really focus on the parts that are actually meaningful.
Speaker 1:And because it's positive for other people To see you right, it is like your kids here. It's hard to do, you know, but if you show up, it matters to people more than you, right?
Speaker 5:Yeah, and typically I found that, if I agree to participate on the level that like I care to and I don't necessarily need to, you know, fully embrace everything, and it's not nearly as draining that way for me, and so it's like, okay, I can do that and I might be tired afterward or whatever and probably need some recovery time, and I Definitely didn't schedule any of that for this week, so that'll be fun. The good news is there's like almost nobody in the office, so nobody'll know if I don't do shit. By the office I mean the great metaphorical office of the internet. But, yeah, a lot of people be out, which is why I always say you should never take the week after Christmas off, because it's pretty much an off-week anyway and nobody will be there to Know any differently. But I digress, it'd be good thing to get out in public, right?
Speaker 1:Two things here. It's two people say I ignore that, these things, and that you saying I'm just gonna show up, right, but it's not wrong either way you do it. It's not wrong like it's just what works for you. Again, that's the whole thing. It's showing up is what you need to do and show up. If ignoring it is what you do, then ignore it.
Speaker 5:That is the key, though. It is like just finding out what works for you and your very, very specific situation and everybody's situation is so damn different at the holidays, like and, and you know, depending on relationships with family and things like I mean, I'm relatively like Easy in the fact that like, yeah, my family has like some like slight annoyances. For the most part, they're all very tolerable people and you know I don't like Hate hanging out with them. Like we don't always have the most in common, I don't always have a lot to talk about, but I can always find something to talk about with somebody, right?
Speaker 1:Engaging and fun and fun to talk to.
Speaker 5:I mean, it's just like people, right, like they're people. Yeah, exactly, and you know, I think it is a a Good thing to be able to go into these situations as needed and just yeah, as you said, just just show up.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So, speaking of showing up, my wife is calling me up, is gonna take over here.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, right.
Speaker 1:Oh wow. Spark has started a fundraising effort for crisis text line. We have a goal of $19 per episode, as $19 supports one person in their time of absolute crisis with the mental health. If you would like to donate through our fundraiser titled Lauren's infinity, the link is listed in the episode description. Lauren was my wife's best friend and loved by all who came into contact with her.
Speaker 3:If we don't your podcast, we're gonna continue by just going. Beth, would you like to tell us how you do with Christmas? I want to do a low bow there, so bet that you deal with Christmas dress.
Speaker 4:I Don't really have much, I Think for the guys in the states. I'm not sure the UK's like no, they doesn't really affect you, but you guys have to deal with Halloween, thanksgiving and then Christmas. You've got so much in a few months by the end of it I'm not surprised that. Yeah so, and of course you got family. That's you know, expect you, so expect this and that and have a certain Mrs. Well, our family it's yeah, it's pretty pretty easy.
Speaker 3:So, if you're in the US, you're gonna have the UK or Australian. But that, chris, if you're in the US, you have the holiday time, don't you? You're the.
Speaker 4:Yeah, like do you mean?
Speaker 3:I was going to say it is true, like if you're in the I was. We just have Christmas.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, but I, yeah. So the Americans have all their holidays of Thanksgiving, halloween, christmas, whatever else they do. Yeah, so, and we're also and I guess for you guys you still have kids at school. You're only off for like a week or two or something around the Christmas time, whereas we're off for In Australia, kids finished about the 8th of December and they won't go back to school until end of March, end of January, early February. So we're all on holidays.
Speaker 4:But for me, what we do is like, as a child, it was my family of just me, two siblings, mum and dad. Then, when I got older and I joined a church and met my husband although the other you could do Christmas if you wanted to he decided not to, and so for years and years we didn't do anything until, say, five years ago when I reconnected with my family and, yeah, so Christmas was a thing, so it was a new thing for my kids. You hadn't really experienced anything like that. So what we do is we go to my stepmoms for dinner Well, this year's dinner because my son has to work on the day, because we're not celebrating Christmas on Christmas Day. Because my daughter had to work. My son taught her how to work in the afternoon. One had to work in the day.
Speaker 4:We're like, because we don't care what day it is, it doesn't have to be on the 25th. So we're going to meet up on the 30th yes, the 30th and the way we do gifts is that kids under 18 get presents. Over 18, you go into the secret Santa and so we only just have to buy one present for the adults, and that includes my stepmom, my brother, my sister, family. But then I also do something with. I can get a secret Santa for one of my children. I may get their names, but that's a different thing. I also get them.
Speaker 4:My children, like the older ones are present and the younger ones will probably get a bit more. And the 25th, christmas Day, the presents I'll give you to the children that live in the house or do something. Just us, nothing major, just nothing to me, or whatever. 26th I go to my daughter's house. I'll give the presents to the other kids that come from me, unless I was sort of and on the 30th as well, with the family, all the standard family gets together. And on the 31st I catch my sister-in-law and her son and my kids come there. We were going out for a breakfast. So it's funny because it sounds like a lot, but it's just spread out.
Speaker 3:But you've decided it. That's the thing, isn't it Like? The reason you're kind of avoiding the stress is because you've taken control of it.
Speaker 4:So, as far as like and a lot of stress is taken from me my stepmom does the cooking for Christmas, right, and we provide stuff like some will provide money towards the food, so she likes doing what she will we always say are you sure you're not doing too much? And she's like no, no, I'm happy, I'm happy. So I get to bring the drinks and bring a dessert, and so we all list, so everybody's got something to do. So my daughter she said bring this, and that they don't get me to cook, they don't get me to do things like that because I know I will stress about that. I can't I stress about normal day that I cook. So, yeah, I did have a. I suppose the biggest stress is we're like gifts and things like that for people. And also I've been in a lot of pain recently, like my legs are weak, so going out shopping that has been a real strain. So to counteract that, because I did need food, I did online deliveries of food so I wouldn't have to go out and do that. So I'm pretty.
Speaker 3:You're a proponent of Amazon, then You're a big proponent of getting the stuff in from elsewhere, because I know a lot of place, a lot of families and that always want to do everything. It's got to be this way of doing it. But just allowing technology to help you has kind of helped, yeah.
Speaker 4:The thing is I've actually signed up to a delivery service, one of our local circumvaccates, so it was really cheap to do it and I get free delivery, so it worked out really well. So yeah, I mean I will panic, I tell you, because I've still got to wrap some gifts, I've still got to work out which gift pile goes to which thing. Make sure I haven't forgotten anything. But other than that it's pretty chill. We have fake trees, so that's fine.
Speaker 3:It is interesting, like you were saying before before my internet cut out here for two seconds. It is interesting because the UK and Australia do have the same thing. We only have Christmas, whereas the US has a holiday period which is very different.
Speaker 3:It's almost like your stress builds up because for us, we have Christmas, we don't have Thanksgiving, which is in that we don't have Thanksgiving. That's not a thing for us, obviously. So there's no like Thanksgiving's here. That means this is happening and this is happening, it's just one. No, there's nothing happening at the moment. So why would we stress until it's nearer to Christmas, whereas I think the stress starts earlier if you're in the US, because it's like oh yeah, we've got Thanksgiving. That means that this is coming next, and then this is happening and it builds up, doesn't it?
Speaker 4:You guys have also got the cold weather to deal with as well, depending on where you are. I don't think Lowe Lowe does, does he?
Speaker 3:Well, I mean, you certainly don't. I mean, was it summer for you, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, which is such a weird concept for, I think, so many people, that Christmas can be in summertime, because it's like the whole image of Christmas is for a lot of the Western world is snow. You know? Santa with a sleigh, santa with his sleigh on snow.
Speaker 4:You would buy fakes now and spray your windows and stuff. You know, yeah, and a lot of people, like when I was growing up, you know we'd have the full-on roast dinners and all that sort of stuff, and you know if it's which we're actually going to do, because, well, that's what we're doing with my stepmom, but yeah, I mean most, most of these are always a good idea.
Speaker 3:So I mean I most Britain is known for roast, for roast milk. That's our Sunday, that's.
Speaker 4:We just have to enjoy it. Yeah, as a child, but then, yeah, I don't.
Speaker 3:So for any, any of any of you there, because I can, again, I'm on a phone. For anyone that's watching this. I'm on a phone, so I don't know who I'm speaking to all this time.
Speaker 4:Swipe, swipe the phone, swipe the screen, so that way or that way, and you should get everybody come up.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, oh, Jesus Christ, do you think someone that deals with YouTube and things on a daily basis would know these things? Fuck me. But so, is there anything like around Christmas that you, because everyone deals with Christmas in their own way but is there anything of Christmas that you almost enjoy the stress? So like for me, although I avoid the stress and things when I have had to be taken part in Christmas, I enjoy when I've done it for family. I've enjoyed cooking because I enjoy the roasties and you know roast potatoes, I enjoy that. But is there a thing that you've gone? Okay, this bit is stressful, but actually it's a kind of nice stress. It's not something that's overwhelming me, it's just something that I go actually, yeah, that's kind of that's why I get up on Christmas Day for it. Is there anything that any of you have felt about that one?
Speaker 2:Amy and no, I guess it's whatever the stress that we put on ourselves. I suppose that's fine enough.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you kind of enjoy it almost.
Speaker 2:My boyfriend was mentioning that he wants to cook Christmas meals from you. Even if I don't want to do anything for the holidays, he still wants to do that, but he likes cooking, so it's something enjoyable for him and I'll probably do it with him because I like cooking too.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so it's kind of it's not big stress, but it's like, oh, you know, it's those little things like making sure that you don't burn the potatoes or something. It's little things, but it's enjoyable as well, isn't it? What about?
Speaker 4:you Leo.
Speaker 3:Is there anything for you that you think about?
Speaker 5:Let's see. Well now, the one thing I typically try to fit in given the opportunities baking a batch of gingerbread, men, yeah, I wouldn't say it's necessarily a stressful thing, like for me. It's literally like it's the one time of year I ever bake anything. It's like the one thing, and so, yeah, I'm looking forward to doing that at some point.
Speaker 3:It's interesting because I think for some people these things would be stressful for others, but it is something again that we're putting on ourselves to go. I enjoy cooking this, I enjoy baking this, which Could be stressful if we allowed it to be. I think I've said this on on my part. Doesn't sit on my bad before, sit on everyone. I think one of the biggest things about mental health especially is that thing of control. So when we have the control it makes it so much easier. But well, I have control over wanting to Make these potatoes this way, or wanting to make this gingerbread this way, or or wanting to have a secret Santa, like. If you take control of it, it's so much easier to deal with it because it doesn't feel like stress, because it's you have the control, you know.
Speaker 4:Well, I mean for me personally. There's other people that have taken the stress from me. There's no way I would cope with. Having to deal with making a main meal for the whole family is like 14 of us on them.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Get together and also with us, because we're so laid back. We we do. I think I've said before we do birthdays where you get together every few months and whoever's had a birthday from, say, january to March, we all get together, because it's it's really hard, you know, with working and to coordinate everybody. So you know, this year when it was my birthday in August, we had like a group we were supposed to get together but we had to postpone. Then we passed the postpone it again, and so we're also doing a birthday presents at the Christmas get together for anyone that's had a birthday or having birthday between Now a moving August and the end of the year, because we just miss it. Well, I just, you know, we just get together.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I mean as someone whose birthday is in.
Speaker 3:January. That's definitely something I'm hit with all the time. Yeah, I'm gonna pass you back over to the real host of this podcast.
Speaker 1:I'll see you in a bit. It is time, once again, to give shout outs to the biggest supporters of this podcast. Without you, this does not take place. It just does not. So thank you, leo. Guy Nann, here is another great supporter of this podcast that you are currently listening to. I would also like to thank Kirk Hofstra, casey Elliott, sarah delano, justin allingham, blushing crafter, jayme young and beth jones. I love all of you. I love you very, very much more than you can know, appreciate it. So I'm not nearly as animated as he is, but, uh, would anyone like to ask me how I do with the holidays?
Speaker 5:Now that you're back, let's hear it.
Speaker 1:I'm sure what I'll say is uh, you fly up from.
Speaker 5:Europe.
Speaker 1:It's okay. Uh, literally he took away. So I have trouble driving over bridges now for some reason, anxiety like crazy. But he's talking as we're driving and I felt no anxiety when that Is having someone else next to you, a friend that cares about you, talking like that's the whole, again, the whole premise friends matter. That's my opinion on it. So anything else before we close this out, uh, on holidays, because holidays are, oh god.
Speaker 4:What? What happens with you? How does your we have like?
Speaker 1:30 Christmases, uh, within two days, so it's. So you got your family, so I fly over here so he get me through these things. Basically because it's it's my friend's Christmas, my parents Christmas, my in-laws Christmas, my wife and I's Christmas, like we, just it, just it never ends, never and, and that's until january 1st.
Speaker 1:And uh, it was funny. I told Uh, one of my friends is getting married on new ziv and I was like, uh, I'm bringing a grit uh to the wedding and he goes okay, cool, I thought that was too fun to get married.
Speaker 5:It's just gonna be really awkward when he thinks that's his present.
Speaker 1:What do you have to say about?
Speaker 3:that I'm impressive for everyone. I'm impressive for everyone.
Speaker 4:I love it.
Speaker 1:It's just fun to hang out and be friends. Again, the entire premise of this he's helped me, I've helped him. He won't admit it but I think I have. But we're just hanging out having fun.
Speaker 4:Like that's it.
Speaker 1:Like we had you come down here and just shot the shit for a couple of days. It matters this fucking matters.
Speaker 5:The birds of friends.
Speaker 1:Right. So, Waba, what are you doing on Christmas Day?
Speaker 2:Streaming for a long time and holding space for others.
Speaker 1:I love you. It's.
Speaker 2:Munchal, it's Monday still.
Speaker 1:I love that. Like I said, I'll be a crying mess one day and really motivating the next, but today I'm not a crying mess because someone flew from Europe over here.
Speaker 5:Yeah, I mean gets to the US automatically hates Georgia, right, I mean Point.
Speaker 1:But he does like the song. Devil went down to Georgia. That's the oldest time, yeah.
Speaker 5:and then he started a university.
Speaker 1:Georgia is our biggest rival, so we can't like that, like we can't. You just called Georgia a city.
Speaker 3:Georgia is a state, I know that, but I can't put a city Anyway.
Speaker 5:I heard state, I think Anyways, I love y'all.
Speaker 1:Thank you for doing this. The holidays are stressful, especially for me, because I feel like I overexert myself.
Speaker 5:You know giving more of yourself than you can handle now.
Speaker 1:I mean, I never do that, that's what I do, but it came at an issue this year. There's a lot going on with my family and my friends and having a friend like up here is actually literally saving me from like just saying. I'm just going to say you know, tell for four weeks.
Speaker 5:Quickly before we get off of here and feel free to cut this out How's your dad doing?
Speaker 1:Not great.
Speaker 5:Not great.
Speaker 1:So another episode, and so I'm trying to balance that with. You know all the, you know dynamics, but he's alive. So to me that's great. You're alive every day. You're alive is the way like that. I love that. But we're in the fourth quarter. There's no doubt about that. We're in the fourth quarter and I want him to kneel it out winning. Instead, you know, like my mom and I would be right behind him. So that's it, my opinion on it. But love you, Merry Christmas. We love you.
Speaker 5:Merry Christmas.
Speaker 4:Merry Christmas everyone. Okay, are we doing glad? Are we doing glad? What do?
Speaker 5:you want, I don't.
Speaker 1:I thought Wabble wanted to say something, sorry, I saw.
Speaker 2:I just said Merry Christmas.
Speaker 1:Oh, merry Christmas, Love all of you. Merry Christmas, I'll see you soon.
Speaker 3:Merry Christmas, merry Christmas.